Lately I’ve been reading many different resources about class management, working with AD/HDs & OCD’s, and parenting the strong-willed kids. To put things on the practical perspectives, I was reminded of many incidents of failed cases of managing kids. To help kids do better, both parents and teachers will try their best to model and modify kids. However, it is very challenging sometimes to connect with kids and get them to listen.
In fact, it takes good intention and good strategies to work. Adults will need good communication skills, compelling speech, and good opportunities to reach out and affect the kids they want to modify. It’s art to take control. Here’s what I have learned:
- When you cannot control the child, you can control yourself. If you cannot change the child, you should think about ways to change yourself first.
- You cannot control the child, however, you can control the relationship with the child. You can control your child’s access to you, your understanding of the child, and your expectations about the child.
- Sometimes your child may have attitudes, as a result of mood and feelings. You might not be able to control the child’s feelings. Giving time, you can wait until the child’s mood and feelings get settled. Hopefully you can work to modify the child’s behavior.
- Oftentimes you cannot easily control the child’s behavior problems. However, you can control the consequences of the kid’s behavior. Send a message to your child that you are serious and you demand no negotiations but good results.
Many adults are too easy on their child(ren). They would use time-out as their last resort for discipline. In fact, time-out works only for those kids who are already behaving. For most spoiled, strong-willed kids, you need to consider more serious and effective disciplines and consequences. As a teacher or a parent, you will need to be firm and fair. At times you will need to make unpopular decisions. You should not try to play politicians, who always want to make popular decisions. You should not try to please your child all the time. Don’t give in.
